Monday, October 31, 2011

Guest Post - Makeup, Fashion, and Hunting advice from The Skinny Runner

My wife reads Skinny Runner, a running blog, every day. Believe it or not, was the main inspiration for The Unlucky Hunter. My wife kept on talking about this running blog, so I checked it out. My first thought was, "I can do that!" I soon found out that while The Skinny Runner makes blogging look easy, it is not. Anyway, when my wife told me that The Skinny Runner had gone on a hunting trip I just had to email her and ask her to write a guest post for The Unlucky Hunter. Amazingly, she agreed! While promising that it would not be your "normal" hunting post.

When Tim asked me to write a guest post, I laughed. out loud. He's the unlucky hunter? I just got back from pheasant hunting in Scranton, North Dakota; I shot about 400 bullets and the only thing I hit was a cloud. So obviously I'm really qualified to write this post.

And then I wondered if he meant he wanted my dad to write the guest post - my dad's a commercial fisherman and wannabe professional hunter. He's in New Mexico right now hunting some big animal, elk I think. or maybe elephant. or rhinoceros, who knows. He's the (weirdo) guy who goes to Hawaii to hunt down a mountain goat. The only thing I hunt down in Hawaii is another bottle of Evian water mister. And he's the one who decides to go elk hunting with a bow and arrow because a gun is "just too easy". Yeah, he's obviously not my real dad since I would use a grenade launcher and 50 round assault rifle if I could.

Anyways, what I've learned from attempting to hunt is most importantly, the clothes and makeup are very fashionable. Like really fashionable and up-to-date with the changing styles. Here, my older brother Byron is modeling the Fall/Winter 2012 Cabellas line. Interestingly enough, it has doubled as the Spring/Summer line from 1981-present. You mix some hunter's orange and camouflage and you're ready for Milan Fashion Week. every year.

And the makeup is to-die-for. Tim, you wanted some makeup tips, didn't you? Well, it's a good thing my dad is demonstrating the newest fall colors here; he said he was going bow hunting for an elk and needed to be camouflaged, but I really think he was just messing around in my makeup bag...

I know you can barely get over them but beyond the clothes and makeup, I've learned the token hunting lesson that it doesn't matter if you actually hit anything; in fact, it's definitely better if you don't hit a person. It's just being outside, enjoying nature, getting some exercise all the while cursing those dang fast birds under your breath. And really, if you don't hit anything, you can just take pictures and act like you did... this works for me all the time.

Thanks Tim for having one of the worst hunters of all time (if we don't include hunting for designer shoes sales) on your blog!

Girl, you did better than I usually do! Today I went out and didn't see a thing, at least you got to shoot! Thanks for the post, I got a big kick out of reading and posting it!

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